During the last days of March I had the honor of giving the key note address at the colloquium ‘Quelle place pour les proches dans le soin?’ organized by the Swiss Network of Ethics of Care (SNEC), in Lausanne, Switzerland. I learned that the French word ‘les proches’ and the Dutch word ‘de naasten’ are more adequate to indicate those who are relevant for clients, patients or residents than the English terms ‘partner and family’. In care ethics and many other disciplines the idea gains ground that these close ones cannot be ignored in health care. Fot this it takes a critical look at how health care is usually organized. Many examples were given of ‘les proches’ being ignored, informed too late or misinformed, etc. A field of often painful and irrepairable experiences that requires professionals and institutions to become more caring, also in the wider relational network.